I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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