I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
