i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
