im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
