No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
