thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
