Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
