Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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