just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
