oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
