You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
