Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
3pm strippers are depressing
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
