How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
