No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
