I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
sarcasm needs its own font
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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