She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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