this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am midnight drunk by noon
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
