Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
