Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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