i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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