She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
