The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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