Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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