If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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