Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
