I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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