The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
