I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
