If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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