Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
