Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Randomize
