Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
