The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
