I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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