dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
