I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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