sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
