Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
