Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
