I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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