We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
