This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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