he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
