her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
