I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
