can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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