im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
