you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
