This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think people are normalizing furries
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
