Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
