hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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