More tranny stories later!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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